


More Than Double Stuff Oreos

by I_am_a_Ruin



Category: Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Bram is an angel, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M, Mischief, Plot Twists, Simon is a nerd, Simon is a tad evil, You've been warned, disaster gay Simon fucking Spier, my gay sons, some language, the actual fluffiest thing ever, this will rot your teeth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-04-20
Packaged: 2019-04-25 11:21:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14377590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_am_a_Ruin/pseuds/I_am_a_Ruin
Summary: Simon is tired of living so far away from Bram and has an idea.(the beginning is misguiding. I promise this is the fluffiest thing I've ever written in my life)





	More Than Double Stuff Oreos

“I don’t think I can date you anymore.” 

Bram actually dropped his fork. It clattered on his plate, flinging food across the table. What a waste of Mac and Cheese. “What?”

Simon bit his lip, not able to look at Bram. If he looked at his face, he would cave. Because Bram was giving him the most wounded, terrified look ever. It was one hundred times more painful than the time Simon stepped on Bieber’s tail and spent five minutes apologizing. His voice was warbly when he opened his mouth, “I-I can’t do this anymore, Bram. I… It hurts me how much I’m in love with you. And it’s a six hour drive. Six hours dying to see you, and breaking down when I leave. I c-can’t.”

“I know,” Oh God, Bram’s voice was breaking. No, baby. Don’t cry please. Fuck, don’t cry. “It’s hard, but-”

“I just can’t date you anymore, Bram.” Simon shook his head, looking up. 

Bram’s bottom lip was trembling and there were tears in his eyes, “Please don’t do this, Si.”

Simon stood from the table and didn’t even have to control the urge to run to him because his legs were shaking too hard. He knelt down on front of Bram, on both knees because his balance was awful, “Bram. I love you. More than… more than  _ Oreos.  _ More than I’ve ever loved anyone in my entire life. And I’m ready.” his hand slid into his pocket and he pulled out the velvet box. He fumbled with it, not ready to open it quite yet. “I was worried, before. Because I was scared we couldn’t take being apart. But we did it. We’re done with college and there’s no reason we can’t do this. I know we can. And I want to. More than anything.” Bram’s hands were over his mouth. And he was full on shaking with hysteric sobs. As soon as he finished, he was going to hug and hold Bram in his arms and make everything better. The boy’s crying was tearing him open. “You make me a better person. You never let me forget to do homework or oversleep. And I want you forever. I want to share a bed with you and… Adopt one day. I can’t be away from you any longer. So, will you marry me?”

Bram gasped for breath a couple times, opening and closing his mouth, but ended up just nodding fiercely. Simon took his hand and slid the simple gold-metal band on his ring finger. He maybe kissed Bram’s hand, but there’s no proof. 

Bram pulled him up by the front of his shirt so Simon was leaning against him, chin tilted up. “Don’t-D-Don’t you…  _ ever _ scare me like that again.” Simon propped himself up by his elbows and grinned at him, pecking kisses all over his tear-streaked face. Bram laughed, wrapping his arms tightly around Simon’s waist and kissed him hard on the mouth. 

“I love you so much, Bram.” 

“I love you too, Si.” Bram sighed, forehead against Simon’s. His heart was in his throat and on his sleeve and on Bram’s hand. 

“So you aren’t mad at me?” Simon asked, running a thumb soothingly along Bram’s cheek, wiping away the tears. 

“Furious.” Bram smiled, kissing Simon’s nose. “You’ll have to make it up to me. I think this is a good start.”

Simon started kissing his neck, still smiling. His back was starting to ache but he didn’t care. Bram was  _ his.  _

“Okay, okay. Simon. We still have a dinner to finish.” Bram laughed, the really genuine laugh that was loud and unreserved that he’d gotten once he’d been dating Simon for like a month. It was Simon’s favorite thing, so he kept attacking Bram’s neck. Bram gently pushed him away, grinning ear to ear. Simon couldn’t help but mirror the expression. 

And then he fucking burst into tears. Bram’s smile fell into concern as Simon wrapped Bram into a suffocating hug, bawling into his shoulder. Bram’s hands rested lightly on his back, and it was so comforting and loving, it only made him cry harder. 

“I just…” Simon blubbered, hating that he couldn’t pull himself together. He wasn’t even sure where this sudden wave of extremely intense emotion had come from. “I can’t even believe… Believe that you…” He pulled away even though his entire body was screaming that he needed Bram in his arms right now. He rubbed viciously, vainly, at his eyes as tears poured down his face and shook his head. “I can’t believe that you love me enough to… To marry me.” 

The concern morphed quickly into something akin to anger. “Simon Irvin Spier.”

Simon’s mouth wouldn’t let Bram continue, because he had to explain his thoughts, “No, I mean. I’m this theatre nerd, not even like a main theatre nerd either, like a  _ chorus  _ theatre nerd, and I’m nowhere near as bright as you are. I’m the kid that was outed in junior year and changed majors like six times… But you never left me through  _ any  _ of it. Not even when we were so far apart, you still made it work. You facetimed me even though you’d just gotten home from a twelve hour work shift and had an eight am class the next day. And it’s just sort of this amazing thing. And I’m so fucking lucky.”

“You’re not lucky, Simon,” Bram shook his head, his soft smile that made Simon’s heart liquify and his legs turn to Jello prominent. “You deserve it. You worked hard in this too. And you couldn’t make me stop loving you if you tried. You’re too cute. And grammatical.” 

Simon snorted, drying his tears as best he could. “God, I love you.” 

“Now, can we eat our dinner.” 

Simon turned to the meal and his stomach dropped a little. “Oh my God. I totally ruined this!” 

“What?” Bram asked, confused at the way Simon looked so horrified at their meal of Mac and Cheese and other pastas. It had been Simon’s idea in the first place. He wanted to see which pasta was the best, so they just ordered several plates from a bunch of different restaurants to rate.

“Hold on. Forget all of that. I’ll be right back.” Simon said frantically. He ran into the other room before Bram could speak up. There was the sound of him rummaging around and swearing profusely and then Simon came back, blowing past the table and into the kitchen. He searched through several cabinets before pulling out a pack of something Bram couldn’t get a good look at. 

“You gotta give me the ring back.” Simon said, coming to stand in front of him and holding his hand out expectantly.

“What? No.” Bram frowned, holding his hand to his chest, with the other hand cupped over his fingers protectively. 

“Come on. I gotta make this perfect.” Simon insisted, brows furrowed together. He looked so intense it was kind of hilarious.

“I don’t want to take it off though.” Bram told him, staring at his finger. “It’d feel weird.”

“You’ve had it on for like two minutes!” Simon sighed in exasperation.

“Yeah, but it’s a commitment now.” Bram scowled.

“Shit. Stop being cute.” Simon flushed. Bram huffed and slid off the ring reluctantly and set it in Simon’s hand. 

“I better get it back. Because I’m marrying you come hell or high water, Spier.” Bram said, watching Simon duck behind the counter. After a few moments, Simon reappeared, hands behind his back and the dorkiest grin in the history of ever on his face. 

“Abraham Louis Greenfeld. Will you do me the honor of being my husband?” Simon asked dramatically, revealing an Oreo cradled in his hand. It was the Double Stuff kind. 

Bram stared at the cookie for a moment and then glanced back up at Simon. “Uh…. Si. I can’t put that on my hand. Rings are supposed to be a symbol of lasting commitment. That thing will be gone in five seconds. Neither of us have the self-restraint to not eat it.” he spoke slowly, almost as if afraid of offending him.

Simon rolled his eyes. “Will you just eat it.”

Bram squinted up at him and took it, holding it between his fingers. “So are you expecting me to say yes, again?”

Simon nodded eagerly.

“Simon Spier, of course I’m marrying you.” Bram chuckled, still a little suspicious and very confused.

Simon grinned and waved his hand for Bram to eat the cookie. So Bram very, very carefully bit into it, only a little surprised when his teeth collided with metal. “Si-”

Simon shushed him and watched Bram pull the ring out. “Well, now we have to wash it off-”

“Hush. It’s okay. Because it’s symbolic for our first date, and our relationship, and everything.” Simon smiled, obviously very proud of himself.

Bram laughed and stood up so he was eye level with Simon. He slid the frosting covered ring back onto his finger and wrapped his arms loosely around Simon’s waist, drawing him closer so their noses were almost touching. “You  _ are _ a dork.” 

“I know.” 

“And I love you, you dorky, perfect man.” Bram sighed, pressing his lips against Simon’s.

 

**Author's Note:**

> :D Hope you liked it. Comments are appreciated! Plenty more Spierfeld where this came from.


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